Life is rarely a straight line but every twist and turn is an opportunity to grow and learn
And I’m so grateful for the journey. I’ve given you a pretty extensive run-down of my own story below because I really want you to get to know me. I also want to show you that change is possible. You’ve just got to let go and give yourself permission
Hi, I’m Deeba
I am a transformational life coach passionate about supporting people to become their happiest self by allowing them to explore what they really want from their life. But, I have a confession…
Until RECENTLY, I hadn’t taken responsibility for my own life
I was playing small and safe by not expressing my opinion and not making the effort or taking the risk to think about what I wanted from my life, let alone to go for it. I was hiding from the world, not wanting to be seen or noticed. I was happy to follow everybody else’s direction other than my own – that way I would fit in, avoid conflict and failure. If things went wrong, well, I wasn’t to blame.
That’s what I thought anyway…
By all external accounts, I was ticking the boxes of a successful life. I got a good degree in Computer Science and Business. I had a job in the finance sector, I worked hard, I was on the property ladder, I ate well, I worked out 6 days a week and I socialised a lot. From the outside looking in, I was doing a great job at adulting.
The truth is that I was working in a job that I wasn’t passionate about, yet I’d spend hours at work to avoid thinking about what I might actually want to do with my life. I calorie counted and over-exercised according to what I thought I should be doing and looking like rather than paying attention to how it made me feel - which was exhausted. I said yes to everything, partly because I didn’t know what I really wanted, but also because I yearned to be accepted. I socialised to numb feeling alone and lost, yet I had never felt more disconnected.
The weeks would pass by in a blur. I felt constantly exhausted and I had this nagging feeling that I didn’t enjoy anything in life. A little voice inside me was saying
“what is wrong with me? I should be happy”
Don’t get me wrong, there was so much to be grateful for, including wonderful family and friends, but my life didn’t feel right – I hadn’t taken the reigns.
At a later stage of my career, I found myself in a situation that really shook my confidence and my mental health. From that point on, I started turning up to work late and I just didn’t really care. A year later on honeymoon, my husband asked me something I’d been too scared to ask myself before:
“what do you really want for your life?”
Now this isn’t some fairy-tale ending where I snapped my fingers and automatically lived happily ever after. Nope…all I knew was that how I was living wasn’t how I wanted my life to be anymore.
I wrote a list of everything I could potentially be interested in and settled on nutrition. I wanted to help people and was obsessed with diets. No brainer! I went back to school to study Nutritional Therapy and then shortly after, set up my own practice. I genuinely found that I loved working with people, yet I still felt something wasn’t quite right. When I started allowing myself to notice how I was feeling, I realised that it wasn’t advising people on nutrition that lit me up. Instead it was understanding what makes people tick and why they were making the decisions that they were. In my experience, it was never about the food, but more often about what else was going on in a person’s life.
That’s when I got really honest with myself. I’m going to admit something to you now that makes me embarrassed and uncomfortable. Nutrition was another choice that I sold myself as something I really wanted for the wrong reasons. I jumped into it in desperation of a next step, any step. It was something that I thought I should study as it might give me the secret formula to looking the way that I thought I should. No wonder I felt so inauthentic giving people nutrition advice when I was so messed up around food myself.
Through getting my own coaching, I was able to process these feelings of:
How could I possibly change career again?
What will I even do?
What will people think?
How can I afford this?
How can I be so selfish to train in nutrition, something that has the potential to help people, yet give it up so easily?
Who am I to just go off and do what I want to do?
With the support of my coach, and with a commitment to doing the hard work of learning about myself and my own beliefs, I really started to let go. I let myself trust in life’s possibility, using my coach as living inspiration. Instead of thinking I had no idea what I wanted to do, I started getting curious. What did I love doing? What were the values that I considered important in life? What if life didn’t feel so heavy? What if I could do something that I loved, making a living and an impact?
I started to define my own version of success
In retrospect, the answer seems so obvious all along. Coaching.
I had been naturally doing it as part of my nutrition work but had been too busy focusing on what I didn’t like about my work to pay attention to the possibility of what I did love doing. Helping people is still at the heart of this work, but now I strive to help in a different way – by giving people the space and support to really consider their needs and beliefs in order to be the architect of their own life.
The less that I resisted, the more at ease I felt. The liberation and hope that I experienced was like none that I had felt before. I decided to solidify the coaching tools that I had got from my own experience with a certification. I could tell immediately that this was the right path for me. I LOVED learning for the first time in my life. I always had my hand up in class – for those that know me well, they know this is not the norm! Most importantly, I have an ongoing desire to learn as much as I can because it genuinely fascinates me and I want to be the best coach that I can be.
I honestly can’t think of anything else that I would rather do.
My career was just the tipping point for me. It gave me the push to think about what else I considered important to me. What did health mean to me? What social activities did I love doing? What did I want for my relationships?
Life becomes lighter ANd your energy & motivation increase as you start tuning into these questions
Society leads us to believe that following our hearts is selfish. I’m not by any means suggesting that we forget all others and do exactly what we want, when we want it. What I am saying is that by defining the parameters of your own success and working out what is important to you, not only are you happier, but you are also able to be your best for those around you.